#you make this woman so maaaad

[buckgasms]

Is princess a jealous person when daddy!Bucky is around other women? If she is, how would she show it?

Sorry for sending another request. I just love daddy!Bucky and princess🩷

There is no limit to requests that can be sent in! I love them 🌷

Yes 100% 🤣 I think Princess would think she was hiding it well but absolutely does not.

It's the silly really because Princess loves Bucky and Bucky loves Princess. There is no doubt about either of those facts.

And yet...

When there is some other woman who lingers a bit too long around Daddy or makes him laugh more than once, Princess is maaaad.

Staring daggers at them when they don't leave immediately and maintain a surly look the entire time. When they turn the conversation to you, you barely answer and slide your arm across Daddy's waist and look away.

Bucky bites the inside of his cheek to stop from laughing at your behaviour. He doesn't stop talking to the woman because he wants to see what else you'll do.

When he asks her another question you actually stomp your foot on the ground and pout up at him. He smiles down at you and presses a kiss to your nose before going back to the conversation.

She asks, "So do you guys have any holiday plans?"

Before Bucky can even take a breath you are squeezing him and giggling like an insane person. "Oh yes! We'll be going to Bucky's beach house and we probably won't even leave the bedroom!" You say as you feel your brain short circuit at how embarrassing you are.

She chuckles awkwardly and finally leaves. You let a huge exhale and lean on Bucky's shoulder. "Please, please don't say anything" you mumble as his chuckle rumbles into a full laugh and before he presses a kiss to your temple.

"Get a little jealous did you?" He mutters as you twist into his body and cling to his jacket. "I don't know what you're even talking about Daddy..."

He tilts your face up to look at him and he smiles. "You wanna show Daddy who he belongs to Princess? Gonna show me what happens when someone tries to take what's yours?"

You growl a little and lean up, biting him before placing a more chaste kiss to his lips. "Daddy... Get upstairs now" you giggle and he smiles, taking your hand in his and dragging you away

[honestlyitsjustsam]

alright now that i finished my first bg3 run lemme rate the companions from worst to best based on their story, voice lines and gameplay value

long as fuuuuuck thread

9. Halsin

It is with a heavy heart that I say this, but Halsin is maaaad boring as a companion, his story was so sleeping material next to the rest of the gang. He is too naive and often ignorant, and you get to see it by his voice lines when you reach Baldur's Gate. He lived for 350 years but is still trying to see the world as black and white… he is literally one second away from becoming an eco-terrorist, and even though it's hilarious, it’s not enough. Plus, he is sooooo weak in the battlefield except when he is a bear, and even then, the value he brings is non-existent. He just feels like goon material, sure he is hot and large, but… that’s kinda it. I wish he was polished and was a companion since the ending of Act 1.

8. Minsc

He is hilarious!! And I liked him more than I originally thought I would. His little companion Boo really makes me laugh, and some of the lines he says are straight-up ridiculous, which makes him very funny. But aside from this, he is kind of a dumbass, and even though I’m okay with it, I didn’t see much development for his character. Maybe if I played other BG games, my reaction would have been different, but he was kinda just there. But during battle, his movement speed is insane, and he wasn’t such a bad asset. I personally made a mistake and recruited him sooo late, so that’s on me.

7. Jaheira

Ohh Jaheira!! My mom, my mentor. I liked her more than I thought I would, and I am glad. I swear I got teary-eyed when she first called me “cub” 😭😭 MAMA!! That being said, I feel like she got the Minsc treatment from me as I haven’t played the other games. And I kinda dislike this “strong woman = absent mom” trope. I sincerely dislike it because strength doesn’t come from solitude; it comes from showing up when people need you, and it comes from showing your love. Also, the Harpers questline was booooring, kinda don’t care for a force that cannot do shit but use arrows. But she was a tremendous help during my fights, her becoming an owlbear and tearing up ass was such a delight to play as. Genuinely like her and would like to see more of her.

6. Wyll

Ahhh my prince charming. The one true good character of the gang. I really like him a lot; his story being this intertwined with Karlach’s makes me so happy, and he is genuinely a kind soul with a brave heart. And the locks mod for him? Uuh, made him 10 times hotter! But that being said, he is kind of weak in the battlefield (as I realized warlocks are uhhh), and his story with his dad wasn’t interesting to me. Thus, I destroyed the pact and didn’t even try to save him from Iron Throne. Be nice to your kid who sold his soul for his people, mf. And his pact with Mizora broke my heart; I wish he had another way to deal with her. But hey, the horns look good, and his heart is in the right place (though I always kinda cannot love purely good characters as they lack depth and kinda act like a book of virtue). He definitely lacked in the content department as well, so thus, I cannot add him higher than 6th…

5. Karlach

Ahh my beautiful fiery friend, Karlach is such an inspirational character because even though she is going through quite literally hells, she still keeps her upbeat and charming self up. She aspired me to look at problems with less of a scornful face, honestly. I'll try to be like her; I really want to. It pisses me off how short her story is compared to the rest and how sad her fate is: either go to the literal hell you are trying to escape or die. I'm glad in my run Wyll was able to go with her, but it was nothing but a temporary solution. Her story didn’t end in a way; just left incomplete, thus I cannot put her higher. I like her in battle; she was my tank after all, though I believe I wasn’t able to build her to her potential, thus Lae’zel was a better fighter than her. I still love her personality, her full-of-life views, and her hilarious voicelines. Her being a tiefling makes her more appealing, as they are probably my fave race in BG3! Long live my hot, fun, and energetic babygirl <3 <3 <3

4. Astarion

Ahhhhh the pale elf. Astarion is such a delightful character, from his funny lines to Neil's incredible performance to his story to his general behaviors, acts, and preferences to HIS INCREDIBLY STRONG BUILD for his battle style. I love him. I adore him, and I cannot wait to romance him as OG Durge hhihiih. I feel like a great amount of the taste of backstories of companions is locked behind their romances, thus to understand them more, I must romance them!! Oh joy, love it. Astarion was such a savior for me during fights, and especially if I managed to make him attack while sneaking, he was sure to get multiple crit hits. Though I feel like the rogue class is a bit boring to play as: I make one ranged attack, and if the enemy is close, I can do one close-range, but if not… well, I need to skip him. So yeah, it was definitely powerful, but the thrill always ended too quickly. I genuinely love Astarion's story. I love how devs showed his abuse—it’s not common to narrate sexual abuse towards male characters, and I’m glad his story is there to make me cry. He is truly a quality character, and as you get to know him more, you understand his hostile self in Act 1. That being said (I hope no one gets this the wrong way), I think him in general and his story are overrated as fuuuuck in the fandom space, and the way Larian only focuses on him to cater to the audience kinda annoys me, thus makes me not like him as much as I'd love to. It's a real thing that a fandom can make or break a character for me, and this is kind of his situation, so why I think he belongs to the 4th spot. But who knows—he may go higher or lower after I finish his romance path.

3. Lae'zel

Now if anyone told me that I’d like Lae’zel as much as I do now, I’d laugh at their face as I was kinda annoyed by her rude self as I was watching the EA version of the game, but OH LORD she is truly a gem, my soft frog treasure. Yes, she is rude. Yes, she is bloodthirsty. Yes, she is persistent. But they all make her such a compelling companion, as you get to see her kinder self. After the travel to Creche, you get to see how nice she is to Tav. She actually tries her best to cooperate and find common ground with you, not because of the affliction alone, but because of the time you spend together. She is suuuch a slow burn, and I love her for that. So me betraying her at the end really felt like a sharp knife to my chest. I tricked her after going and retrieving the fucking hammer—MIND YOU, HOUSE OF HOPE WAS LIKE HELLS FOR ME. I kept on dying and dying to those fucking fireballs, but to make her happy and contribute to the liberation of her people, I did it. However, at the end, I think I was gaslighted into thinking that the Emperor was the only choice for survival. It pisses me off how her story is intertwined with the ending this much. Maybe I should have picked Orpheus, so I wouldn’t be so disappointed in myself. A chance for another playthrough. I just love her a lot, AND SHE IS THE POWERHOUSE OF MY TEAM. She is the strongest companion I had, no joke. She crit hit so many people and saved my ass so many times. I’m actually so grateful for a queen like her. The reason I put her slightly lower is because her Act 2-3 story was not as strong as Act 1 for me. I did see her improve, but the spotlight of it turned from her development to the freedom of her people slightly, thus I wanted the spotlight to stay on her. I must romance her to see her even softer side, my frog queen!!! I kiss you; I smooch you <3 <3 <3

2. Gale

OHHH DEKARIOS you have captured my heart with your endless vocabulary knowledge and swagless rizz 💜💜💜. The real Gozde stans know she can never say no to a brunette malewife guy with pretty brown eyes. I LOVE Gale, and searching up his name after my run left me shocked as I saw that the majority hated him sdhsgdhsgd. Now, I'm not gonna lecture anyone, but if the only reason you hate him is because he eats only THREE of your artifacts (which are ridiculously easy to find in Act 1, Skill issue) and because he talks a lot, yeah, I don’t wanna listen to you lol. But if you are actually critical about his neutral self and his inflated ego, I’m all ears as it is always delightful to listen to takes that make sense. I kinda see myself in his story, thus maybe why it hit me this hard. The prodigy genius wizard (I’m not calling myself genius, but I had VERY high grades ehehe) who thought his studies defined him, thus became this egotistical guy who was pretty decent in magic. Literally ruined his life for his ambitions to become something more, burning out like a candle that gets lit up fast, locking himself up in his tower and succumbing to depression and self-hatred. A relationship that broke his self-love, and now he hides his deepest insecurities behind his shield of "Gale of Waterdeep" title. Thinking the world would be a better place if he just killed himself. Thinking himself so worthless that a small token of appreciation feels like a parade he needs to cherish. Thinking the only way to improve himself is killing Gale Dekarios and becoming the memory of a once-great wizard—not stopping there and actually trying to rise to godhood of ambition just to show everyone, Mystra and maybe himself, that he is enough. OH THE ANGST. In the past, I did have such cold feelings for myself; sometimes they still resurface. I did think of taking my own life because of the pain I caused for my family and friends. Even though my reason isn’t as explosive as his, I get him, and Tav's romance revolving around healing him and not having kinky sex 24/7 really touched something in my heart. I thought that maybe I, too, deserve to be loved. Maybe I, too, should reach for highs that are realistic and stop being a suicide threat 24/7. Ohh, I adore him. I can talk for hours about his story, but I gotta keep it short. He is incredibly powerful in combat if you build him right, and I believe I managed to do that. He taught me so many different words, and his sudden flirty remarks really left me speechless, just looking at the screen fucking dazed. Ahhhhhh I LOVE YOU FUNNY MAGIC MAN.

AND NOW THE WINNER IS

SHADOWHEART

Ever since I watched my bestie play EA, I knew she was going to be my fave character. I don’t know if it’s because of her soothing angelic voice, or because of her goth design, or the way she sees the world, or because we both share religious trauma, but I don’t care—she is my favourite companion, character, BABYGIRL, girl for girls, and everything really. In EA, she was a lot colder and had her walls up, but I feel like they tweaked her to make her more likable—probably because of the male audience lol. But nevertheless, my love for her didn’t lessen an inch. She is one of the realest characters. Her trauma is actually so heartbreaking: getting stolen from your fam because a CUNT wants to be the right hand of a deity who is nothing but misery and pain to people, getting educated your whole life in the ways of being cruel, GETTING YOUR MEMORIES TAKEN FROM YOU as if they aren’t what makes you who you are!! These are some hard-to-swallow things that I absolutely eat up when they’re fictional. Religion is a weird thing—it makes you feel safe; believing in something makes you feel grounded. But you also feel the pain caused by people who use that religion as their sword. Shart’s case? Shar was a master manipulator, played her like a toy, fucking used her to her liking. Thus, another reason why I’ll always HATE DnD or medieval gods—they’re all talk and no action. They only take and leave you disappointed. Fucking selfish mfs. And I was so glad to watch Shart embrace herself even though it cost her family’s demise. Don’t get me wrong, I really liked how her fam died—it really showed the player that they actually wanted what’s best for their daughter and not some cheap “fam reunion oh no you guys are dead again” trope. She jokes like a dad, and her smile is the warmest thing in the game. She is one of the most sapphic-coded characters I’ve ever seen, and I just cannot wait to romance her with my righteous paladin. When it comes to fighting, I feel like I wasn’t able to make her much of a fighter but more of a healer. Dgmw, she saved my ass multiple times, but she also missed. A LOT. Regardless, if I was playing the game without the party limitation mode, she’d def always be in my party both because of her aid and humour and because she is the prettiest girl ever. I LOVE FEMME CHARACTERS MUAH. 💜💜💜

[echo-hiraeth]

Chapter 10: One of those long-sleeved dresses

Part of the “Ilicit Limerence” series

Pairing: Javier Peña x F!Reader

Summary: The pressure is on now that the government is negotiating with Escobar. The team decides to take the edge off, but when it comes to it, Javier can’t keep calm.

Warnings: swearing, angst, explicit sexual content, unprotected sex, nudity, mentions of pregnancy symptoms, alcohol

Masterlist

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A/n: Hello sweethearts! My sincere apologies for going MIA, I had a really rough week with tonnes of deadlines, but accept this 6k plus chapter! Let me know what you think. Lots of love!

“He did what now?”, Connie questioned, brow quirked in amusement as she sipped on her wine.

You cackled along with her, fingers playing with the stem of a wine glass, which was filled with orange juice. “I’m serious, he’s surrendering his key this weekend!”

“Well would you look at that, Javier Peña settling down huh?”, she smiled, clinking her glass to yours, “I don’t know how, but you did it.”

“I’ll cheers to that, sister”, you gloated, the smile on your face just getting bigger and bigger as the night went on.

The boys were out together, leaving you and Connie alone with the baby. Olivia had been sound asleep for about an hour now and as soon as that baby monitor didn’t detect any fussy noises, it was go-time. How she got the drinks out that fast, you hadn’t a clue, but you weren’t complaining when she got out the chips as well. Seeing how you were back to work and she had a kid to take care of, you hadn’t seen one another a lot this week, but tonight you were just hanging out, catching up.

“How’s the clinic been?”

She sighed, letting her head fall back on the couch. “Sometimes I wish you would just quit and join me already. I swear they only speak in Spanish to spite me.”

You huffed out a laugh, only laughing harder as the two of you locked eyes. It was one of those moments that didn’t make sense, but was hilarious nonetheless. You clutched your stomach as a cramp threatened to come up. “Okay – okay, stop, stop, stop”, you yelped, struggling to catch your breath as you kept laughing.

Connie was wheezing at this point, doubling over as well, the rest of her red wine spilling into your lap. “Aha – shit that hurts”, she gasped, rubbing at her cheeks as they cramped up.

You took a few deep breaths, finally having stopped giggling away. In one swift motion you took the fragile glass from her hands. “Alright, alright, Murphy, you’re too drunk to keep this going.”

“Oh come oooon, it’s my house, I call last round!”, she whined, reaching for the bottle on the coffee table.

You jerked it away just in time, holding it over your head as she groaned and rolled her eyes. “Connie, I’m serious, you have a baby to take care of tomorrow, go get ready for bed.”

She pouted, dragging herself up off the couch as she slumped towards the bathroom. “You’re no fuuuun.”

Shaking your head, you walked over to the kitchen, rinsing the glasses and putting the half-empty bottle in the fridge while your friend attended to her business in the small bathroom. It was a little past midnight now, just about time for the guys to come back too, in fact they were a little late already. The three of you still had work in the morning, considering it was a Thursday night, but no-one other than you seemed to give it much thought.

Some stumbling in the general direction of the two backrooms caught your attention, drying your hands before hurrying your way over to the bathroom. Only there wasn’t anyone there. You peeked into the bedroom, seeing your friend sprawled out on top of the duvet, still fully dressed. Her husband could take care of that. She’d knocked the alarm clock over, successfully unplugging it from the wall in the process. You picked it up, putting it back into place before heading back into the kitchen. Being the good friend that you were, you filled up a glass of water and along with an aspirin, put it on her nightstand. She’d thank you in the morning.

Once back in the living room, you cleaned up the messes, stowing away the snacks in the cupboard and washing the dirty dishes in the sink. By the time you were putting everything back into its spot, clock striking past one, the door swung open. They were mid-conversation, Steve way too loud for your liking, drunk out of his mind. Well, they were married after all – you thought, thinking back of your passed out friend.

Javier seemed fine, supporting Steve as he guided him onto the couch, shooting you an annoyed glare halfway through. You rested a hand on your lower back, trying to ease the pain as you just watched the two of them, Steve’s hand grabbing towards you.

“She’s maaaad”, he noted, giving Javier a look.

You bit back a chuckle, not wanting to give him the satisfaction, instead just motioning towards the door. The other man understood, slowly nodding before throwing a balled-up blanket at his partner. “See you at the office, Murphy.”

He grabbed your coat off the hanger, opening the door as he waited for you. You pecked his cheek in passing, taking the coat from him as you put it on, the coldness in the hallway already making you shiver. “M’sorry hermosa”, he sighed slinging a warm arm around you.

“How much did you have?”, you asked, leaning your head on his shoulder as you walked down to the lobby.

“About three, I’m good to drive”, he replied, pressing a sweet kiss to the crown of your head.

 It was a difficult night, having to run to the bathroom every other half hour as either your bladder or stomach pestered you. Javier was sleeping soundly, his whiskey tending to have that effect. You’d hit him over the head if you didn’t love him as much as you did. The acid reflux was killing you, no matter how upright you sat. You were never touching orange juice again, you vowed, fuck that.

Javier woke up to you sitting up against the headboard, neck at an awkward angle as you softly snored. It was then he noticed the bucket by the bedside, empty, but still there as a precaution. He’d let you sleep a little longer, off to the kitchen to prepare a breakfast while he woke up fully. As he flipped his omelette you shuffled out of the bedroom, rubbing your eyes as you stubbed your right into the couch.

“Motherfucker”, you exclaimed, pursing your lips in pain.

He grinned from his spot in the kitchen, winking as you flipped him an early morning bird. “Sit down before you break a leg.”

You plopped down on the chair, cradling your head in your hands out of sheer misery. You were exhausted and had an excruciating pain in your neck and back, not to mention how raw your throat felt, the acid reflux having left its mark. “Would you mind grabbing a coffee at work? I-I don’t feel particularly well.”

He put two plates on the table, sitting down next to you, resting a hand on your upper back. “Should’ve woken me up”, he mumbled, keeping hand there as he started digging in.

“Wouldn’t have made much of a difference anyway. Thank you for cooking”, you smiled, starting on your own plate.

The rest of the morning was slow, Javier proving to be very helpful as he rinsed your hair for you. There was nothing sexual about it, just simply wanting to ease things for you. You’d been okay for most of the week, morning sickness seemingly gone, but last night’s shenanigans got you good. On top of that your jeans didn’t button, stomach starting to protrude a bit more in your ninth week. Whether it was the exhaustion, annoyance or a culmination of everything at this point, you didn’t know, but you broke down into tears.

“Corazón?”, he asked, barging into the room, cupping your face in both hands. “What’s wrong, what happened?”

“I-I don’t know really, just my jeans don’t fit and – and”, you couldn’t speak anymore, just crying it out, keening into his touch as his thumbs swiped the salty tears away.

He let go with one hand, bringing it down to the denim, softly inching it down your legs. “Weather’s nice enough today, why don’t you wear one of those long-sleeved dresses? Casual Friday was still a thing last time I checked.”

You huffed out a breathy laugh, hiding your face in the safety of his shoulder. “God Javi, I’m such a mess. Are you sure you wanna move in with this?”, you asked half-joking.

“Stop that”, he groaned, lifting your chin to tangle his lips with yours. “You are the most gorgeous, smart, funny, beautiful, passionate and sexy woman I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. Now put on that cute dress or I will throw you onto that bed and make sure you know just how riled up you get me.”

You kissed the corner of his mouth, smiling as you did so, stepping out of your jeans before tiptoeing over to your wardrobe. He watched you as you slipped on the dress, fishing a pair of tights from your bottom drawer. You sat on the edge of the bed, rolling up the tights before slipping a first leg onto your foot, carefully hoisting them up, being mindful not to rip them with your longer nails.

In a passing motion, Javier vowed to rip them off of you later that same day.

 In preparation of new measures, you had to sit through another couple meetings and to say they were boring, would’ve been an understatement. You and Javier sat close to one another, Steve sat on the chair between the two of you. He’d noticed you were struggling to keep up, eyes drooping as the search block just went on and on. After about an hour, a break was announced, which was much-needed. Everyone got up as you remained seated, not entirely sure of what was happening, attention span completely missing.

Steve got up as well, leaving the room to fetch some caffeinated drinks for the three of you. But Javi stayed put, scooting closer as he cautiously touched your arm. “Hey, what’s going on?”, he hovered, spinning your chair around to face him.

You stretched your arms over your head, letting out a loud yawn. “’M just sleepy.”

“I know baby, couple more hours. Why don’t you take the couch in the office during lunch?”, he suggested, leaning back in his own chair.

“Hmm, wouldn’t be fair to the two of you, really”, you sighed, standing up to stretch your legs.

He stood as well, bringing you in closer to capture your lips in short-lived kiss. “Go walk around the office for a bit, it’ll wake you up. Steve’s bringing you some of that tea.”

“Thank you Javi, you’re a hero”, you praised, dragging him down for another kiss. “Be back in ten.”

You meandered your way into the restrooms, finishing up at the sink, dunking your tingling hands under the cold water. Once dry you put your cold hands up against your neck, hoping that the temperature shock would help you out of your drowsy state. It did to a certain extent, the icy cold feel of your fingers on your warm skin making you shiver a bit.

Fuck – you craved that sweet kickstart of coffee, but even just passing by the small kitchenette, the odour was too pungent, nearly making you wretch. You nose scrunched up in revulsion, you quickened your pace, hoping to get away before any nausea could settle in. It was then you felt the familiar hot liquid tickling down your chest, letting out a yelp as it scorched your tender skin.

“Shit – are you alright ma’am?”, an unfamiliar voice sounded.

You peeled the fabric of your dress away from you, to relieve some of the heat. “That’s gonna stain”, you joked, trying to divert your attention from the burn on your skin.

“At least it’s a memorable introduction”, he chuckled, dipping his head into the kitchenette to grab a hold of the tissue box. “Stechner, Bill, I’m CIA.”

You pulled a set of tissues from the box, stuffing these between your body and dress, trying to alleviate the two, creating somewhat of a barrier. As you dabbed away you told him your name, which resulted in a raised brow. “Am I wanted or something?”, you quipped, trying to rub some of the stains out of the fabric.

“You’re partnered with Murphy and Peña, are you not?”

“That I am, speaking of which, I have a briefing to rush to”, you laughed awkwardly, the look he was giving you nothing short of unnerving.

He gave you a smirk. “I do hope we run into one another again, ma’am.”

You shivered at the comment, hastily making your way back to the conference room. They’d already picked up again, conversation in full-swing as you cracked the door open, wordlessly retaking your seat. You got some looks, no doubt because of the huge stain on your front and wide-eyes.

You certainly didn’t feel sleepy anymore. The feeling now overtaken by one of discomfort and unease as your clothes clung to you, the tissues already soaked through. Steve handed you a cup of green tea, face contorting in confusion. You made a gesture of dismissal, it clearly not being the place and time for an explanation. But the meeting was cut short as Noonan was whisked away by her assistant, clearly a matter of urgency, if not emergency.

The two men directed their attention in your direction, tilting their heads almost synchronically. “Who the fuck is Stechner and why does he hate both of you”, you demanded, clearly not amused.

“Stechner? Oh that’s all Javi. Ya see, your sweet menace of a boyfriend has had some communistic tendencies in the past”, the blonde taunted.

“Murphy. Watch your mouth”, Javier warned, throwing his friend a death-glare.

Your mouth fell open in shock and something along the lines of amusement. “You slept with a communist?”

Steve and you shared a glance, both sputtering out a string of laughter as Javier just sat there, looking up at the ceiling. “That was years ago. Now cut your bullshit, both of you. Stechner’s just an entitled asshole.”

The two of you calmed down, catching your breath as Javier grew steadily more annoyed, giving you an angry glare. “Oh come on, at least let me laugh about your hook-ups!”

Murphy clapped Javi on his back, mumbling about getting back to work as he exited the room, leaving the two of you alone once again.

“Is that why you wanna get out of that apartment, get rid of the evidence?”, you continued mocking him.

He took a few strides towards you, placing a hand on the wall beside you, towering over you. With the proximity you could feel the soft tickle of his huffs on your lips as you stared up at him. “I’m warning you, hermosa, you don’t want to go there.”

Something about his tone made it difficult for you to determine whether he was being genuine or not. For fear of aggravating him, you decided to shut up and not press on it anymore. “Lo siento cielo”, you croaked out suddenly feeling very self-aware as he brought up his other hand to rest on the opposite side of your face.

He looked you over, gaze lingering on your dress. “Mi corazón, ¿te hizo daño?“ (My heart, did he hurt you?)

Words didn’t come to you, mind overtaken by his cologne and frankly how tempting his lips looked right about now. He cleared his throat, making your eyes dart upwards. “Yeah, yeah – I mean no! No! I’m fine.”

His lips were slightly parted as he indulged in the desperate look you gave him, fingertips softly stroking your neck. “Should probably change out of that dress”, he muttered, lips ghosting over yours, “unless you need some help.”

You couldn’t help yourself as you threw yourself against him, lips painfully colliding with his in a bruising kiss. His hands found themselves on your hips, drifting towards the curve of your behind. “If you don’t stop now we’re gonna get in a lot of trouble”, you cautioned, supressing a moan as his fingers squeezed your ass.

“Cierto.. pero quítate ese vestido, estás empapada”, he groans, slipping his hands under the skirt. (True.. but you need to take that dress off, it’s soaking wet.)

You nodded fervently, pushing your hips into his, panting: “Supply closet, spare t-shirts.”

With your hand held in his, he hauled you towards said closet, making sure to be quick, not wanting to attract unwanted attention. It had to be a quickie, unless you wanted the whole office to know. So you hastily slipped the dress over your head and Javi ripped your tights down, leaving a run or four in your hose. He forcefully shoved his trousers down his hips, taking himself out of his boxers.

You sat on top of some plastic bins filled with spare supplies, legs spread as he moved to stand in between them. There was no time to be gentle, only to take the edge off. He had to lean over a bit, notching himself at your entrance before slowly pushing, bottoming out. You let out a breathy whimper, which resulted in one of his palms clasping over your mouth. His strokes grew more and more aggressive, the need to be closer to you spurring him on even more. The muffled noises you made were enticing to him, almost as if you were begging him to keep going, show you just who was to be in charge. And so he did. His pace was on the verge of brutal as he drilled into you, the metal racks behind you squeaking and rocking along in rhythm with his tempo. When you head tipped backwards and your eyes closed he knew you were close. He moved his hand to replace it with his mouth, swallowing down the sweet, filthy sounds as you hit your peak, closing your legs around him, locking him into place as he came. His lips left yours with an audible sigh, his forehead resting on your collarbone as he caught his breath.

The two of you cleaned up in the small space, stealing kisses left and right. With every sweep of his calloused fingers across your bare thighs you felt your heart flutter. But eventually, after he found you a pair of joggers that wouldn’t fall off and a t-shirt that wouldn’t be too tight you got dressed.

“How’s it look? Everything you ever hoped for?”, you joked, showing of the baggy, nonchalant outfit.

He pulled you flush against his chest, smirking before embracing you. “Muy hermosa, corazón. You head out first, I’ll bring some lunch.”

With one last peck you left the closet, trying to act as normal as possible with your ripped tights and stained dress under your arm. The post-coital lethargy mixed in with the lack of sleep soon had you struggling to stay awake again. As soon as you plopped down in your rigid desk chair you felt the familiar heaviness settle in your limbs.

“Am I really that boring?”, Steve quipped, not looking up from whatever he was reading.

You straightened up a bit, rolling your shoulders. “Sorry Murph, didn’t really sleep last night.”

“I noticed you looking a little green earlier. Take the couch, I’ll move the boxes so you can lay down”, he offered, already getting up out of his chair.

“It’s okay really, I’ll just get another cup of tea”, you ushered, knowing fully well you were expected to type a whole report by the end of the day based off of someone else’s notes.

Steve walked over to your desk, snatching the notepad out of your hands. “You’re pregnant for God’s sake, go lay down or I’ll have Noonan send you home.”

After some more bickering you’d agreed to switch tasks and that you would be reading up on previous reports and strategy proposals while he’d type the report for you. But after barely three pages your eyes just shut on their own. When Javier came back about twenty minutes later, the folder, still clutched in your hands, laid on your chest, softly rising and falling. He nodded towards his partner, gesturing for him to come grab his lunch. Meanwhile Javier sat down on the end of your couch where your feet laid, carefully placing them in his lap.

“What the fuck do you do to her?”, Steve asked jokingly.

Javier took his lunch out of the plastic bag, replying without looking up: “I dick her down.” Later he added a quiet: “like you’re supposed to.”

When by the end of lunchbreak you were still out, Javier decided to stay put. With your legs resting in his lap he grabbed a hold of the folder on your chest, starting to intently read it. It was in that moment that Steve pulled the old polaroid camera from the bottom drawer, snapping a sneaky picture as the two of you just sat there, somehow entangled with one another wherever you were.

He put the picture in his top drawer, not wanting to interrupt your little moment as Javier rubbed small circles on your ankle, sunken in thought. Today would be the deciding day, and everyone was anxiously awaiting the government’s next move. Though they all knew in the back of their heads, that no matter the decision, it wouldn’t change shit.

It was just a little past one when the news got delivered, some fellow agent sticking their head in to tell them: Escobar’s deal was accepted. La Catedral would become a reality. Javier flung the files onto the ground, tipping his head back as he heaved a disappointed sigh. All those years of chasing, murder and devastating guilt just for Escobar to get away once again.

Steve took note of his partner’s annoyance and never related more. “We’ll get him eventually. For now, we take out the smaller guys. He might’ve won this one, but the fight ain’t over yet Peña.”

Javier rubbed his chin, the other hand still resting on your ankles as he tried to keep his cool. He just couldn’t stop thinking about everything he’d done, seeing the faces of those damn informants flash before his eyes with every blink. The shots he’d fired rang in his ears, making him gnash his teeth. His fingers wrapped around your leg in a bruising grip, only getting more and more forceful. You jolted awake, drawing for a weapon on your belt that wasn’t there, panting as you locked eyes with him. He promptly released his hold of your leg, instead moving to take a hold of your shoulders, steadying you.

“What happened?”, you asked, the scattered papers on the ground enough of an indication for you to know that there was something off.

His lips were pursed together in a thin line, eyes avoiding yours as you got up off the couch. “They agreed”, Steve explained.

Your mouth hung open a bit as you looked at your friend, crossing your arms in front of you as you gave an exasperated huff. “Of course they fucking did.”

 The two of you went home early that day, the car ride uncomfortably silent. You’d noticed the sheer rage and resentment in the way he walked. Without a word you’d taken the keys from him, climbing into the driver’s seat. He looked out of the window the entire time, not bothering to look at the road, or you for that matter. Whatever was happening in that brain of his had a vice grip on him and you weren’t sure if he’d let you help him out.

“Do you want to get some take-out?”

He whipped his head around to face you, noting the way your fingers flexed against the leather of the steering wheel. “What now?”

“F-for dinner. Do you want take-out?”, you stuttered, feeling small under his burning gaze.

A muttered “whatever” was all you were given, his eyes once again trained on the world outside of his window.

Not wanting to elongate the duration of the drive any more, you decided against it, knowing that you had some things left in the fridge. The walk up to your apartment was equally awkward and tense. But when his key didn’t immediately turn in the lock and he banged a fist against the wall, you knew what kind of a night it would be. You gently took the piece of metal from his hand, calmly unlocking the door before letting him in.

“Javi, baby, why don’t you grab a shower while I get dinner started?”, you suggested, setting down your bag by the door.

He kicked his shoes off, humming an agreement before shuffling off towards the bed- and bathroom. When you heard the shower turn on, you felt like you could finally breathe again. You’d seen him angry before, especially when dealing with sicarios first hand, but here, in private – in the comfort of the apartment, it was somewhat unsettling. You got out of the cupboards what you needed, and started washing some veggies while turning the tv on.

When he emerged from the bedroom, loose t-shirt and jeans, damp hair, you gave him a small smile. He pressed a quick kiss to your temple on his way to the fridge, pulling out a bottle of beer. “You smell nice”, you cooed, stepping closer to him as you reached for the glass of water.

“You’d hope so after using all of that bodywash bullshit”, he grumped.

“I’ve been reading up on those pamphlets the doctor gave me”, you started, turning your head towards him, “and it says the baby is about the size of cherry now.”

He gave you a look, shrugging his shoulders before walking off with his plate. “Not really in the mood for baby-talk.”

“Yeah, that’s fine. Anything you’d like to talk about?”, you tried, sitting down on the chair across from his.

He shoved a large bite into his mouth, hunching over a bit. “Nothing.”

You stopped trying after that, just finished your plate and got started on the dishes. Javier brought you his plate and went to have a seat on the couch. You rolled your eyes, scoffing softly, clearly not amused with his antics. I he wanted to be like this about it, then you weren’t going to stick around for it. So when all of the dishes were put away, you headed towards the bedroom, not bothering to talk to him.

Stepping into the bathroom, you locked the door, putting his soaked towels in the hamper. As you cleaned up the water on the floor, you ran a bath, desperately wanting to assuage your aching spine. You wanted to talk to him about, but knew better. If he wanted to talk he’d come to you about it – right? Or was he pulling some reverse psychology shenanigans, really just wanting you to talk to him? Your head was spinning by the time you lowered yourself into the warm water, a pleasurable whine leaving your lips at the contact.

Once the water got cold you got out, wrapping yourself in the fluffy towels you laid out before slipping into some softer pyjamas. You got ready for bed, seeing how you were still exhausted and treated yourself to the “nice-smelling-expensive lotion” for once. By the time you stepped into the bedroom again, door still slightly ajar, Javier was still in the living room. Seeing how it was not even seven yet, you concluded that it would be too early to go to bed and that you could catch up on some housework first. So you emptied the hamper and headed into the kitchen, basket under your arm, trying to get to the laundry room.

Javier looked up from where he laid on the couch. He was on his fifth beer by now, but craved something stronger. He reached for the pack of cigarettes on the coffee table, his need for relief overwhelming at that point. His fingers trembled as he went to light it, closing his eyes in relief as the nicotine hit the back of his throat.

You shut the washer’s door, punching in the right controls before heading back into the kitchen. As you walked into the living space again, you noticed the plumes of smoke trickling upwards. With your hands on your hips you cleared your throat, successfully capturing his attention. “Thought we had an agreement on those?”

“It’s just one”, he groaned, kicking his feet up on the coffee table.

“Take it outside then, you have a damn sunroof, balcony and shared terrace, plenty of options”, you tutted, not putting up with his attitude.

He turned around to look at you, raising a brow at you. “Will you stop bitching already? It’s just a cigarette.”

“In case you forgot, pendejo, I’m still pregnant”, you retorted, marching over to grab a hold of the pack.

He stood up, burning cigarette pursed between his lips. “The fuck do you think you’re doing?”

You yanked the balcony door open, throwing the pack over the railing. “You want your precious smokes, well go fucking get them.”

“Are you fucking crazy?”, he sneered, stepping out onto the balcony.

“I think it’s better if you go home tonight”, you said in a hushed tone.

He gave you an offended look, the smoke lingering in his breath as it fanned across your face. “Over a cigarette?”

“If you don’t want to open up to me then I can’t help you”, you explained, turning away from him.

His form towered over you as he stepped closer, chests nearly touching, a stern hand on your elbow. “Open up to you? And when exactly were you ever open with me? Because last time I checked I’m not the one signing a settlement because it’s convenient.”

“Let go of me”, you ordered, glaring into his eyes.

“You’re being unreasonable”, he pressed, grip on your arm tightening.

You tried to wiggle out, whining at the intensity of his grasp. “You’re scaring me Javier, let go”, you pleaded, voice shakier than before.

“You’re gonna listen first. You’ve been down here for two years and that’s barely anything. Compared to Murphy, to me, you’ve had it easy. Let me catch you up to speed, you haven’t killed anyone, you haven’t washed someone else’s blood off of your hands. You haven’t lost anything or anyone here. You, little miss perfect, have nothing to whine about. So when your boyfriend comes home after a rough day, let him have a drink and cigarette and maybe offer to suck him off.”

Tears had started forming in your eyes. This wasn’t the Javi you knew, even at his worst, this wasn’t the agent you were familiar with. It reminded you of that night where he showed up at your apartment, before he knew you were pregnant, when he fucked you and left. It made you feel sick.

“Who are you?”, you spat, untangling yourself from him. “I’m here for you every day, loving you, hoping to make you happy and this is what I get from you?” He didn’t say anything to that, just faced away from you. “If that is how you want things to be, then you need to leave.” Your voice started faltering, the emotion taking over. “I’ll be in my bedroom, if you want to talk whatever this out, then I suggest you join me and think about what the hell you need to say very carefully.”

His head hung low as you disappeared into the apartment, the sound of your muffled sobs stinging in his chest. He hadn’t meant for it to sound that harsh or condescending. He knew perfectly well what you had been going through both in and out of the field. Truth is, he was completely out of line and felt like a complete dick. It was a defence mechanism he had yet to get rid of. Javier wasn’t used to somebody helping him just because, that’s not the way things went here in Bogotá. There was always a catch, always something, whether it was money, power or information, there was always something.

You were his girlfriend, he knew that, he just wasn’t used to it yet. You telling him to leave the apartment – your apartment at that had angered him even more and made his reaction all the worse. He tried to take those vital deep breaths, trying to figure out a way to make it up to you. He remembered you complaining that your favourite ice cream flavour was always out in the store. So he got inside, put on his jacket and shoes and headed for the shops.

When you heard the door close, you cried into your pillow. It felt like a middle finger to the face and for a moment you thought that this could be it. This could be the time that he realised he wasn’t up for this. The following twenty minutes were the most painful ones yet. You thought you were hallucinating when the door cracked open again, shuffling out of your bedroom to see Javier standing in the doorway, plastic bag in hand.

“I – I uh, I went to get some stuff, so we can talk”, he stumbled, toeing his shoes off.

You cracked a small smile at him, beckoning for him to sit down on the couch with you. He grabbed some spoons from the kitchen before joining you. As he sat down you grabbed the tub of ice cream from the bag, eyes going wide. “Oh my God, how did you-“

“I asked them to set some aside last time we went”, he confessed, cracking the lid off for you. “Seemed like a good truce.”

You sunk the first spoon into your mouth, eyes rolling back as you moaned at the taste. “Well, you’re not wrong.”

He chuckled at the sight of you devouring the creamy goods, carefully scooting a bit closer. When you didn’t try to get away he slid an arm around you, pulling you against his chest. “Lo siento por lo de esta tarde. That was way out of line, I shouldn’t have said any of that.” (I’m sorry about earlier.)

“Shut up and try this ice cream, we’ll talk after”, you tutted, shoving a spoonful in his mouth.

The two of you ate the entire tub together, often interrupting the spoon shoving for a sweet, lingering kiss. By the time the tub was empty your legs were draped over his, head resting on one of his collarbones. He was just looking at you, tenderly caressing your cheek.

“I’ve done a lot of heinous shit just to get to Escobar.. so what happened today, it just set me off. It really shouldn’t have, I try not to let it come through when I’m with you but I slipped up.” You didn’t speak or interrupt, just let him say his piece while your softly scratched at his scalp. “I slept with those informants to get crucial information, intel that helped us a long way. But I also just slept with them to get everything out of my system. And then there was you and a month after we slept together I stopped seeing the other girls, even when they’d show up at my door. But there was this girl, a sweet girl really, that was so desperate to get out of here.. it didn’t end well and I couldn’t fucking protect her.”

“Javi, baby, look at me”, you cooed, shifting to straddle his lap. “That girl did what she thought was right, she wanted to escape. It’s not your fault, you did everything you could for her.”

He rested his head against your sternum, wrapping his arms around you to have you just that tad bit closer. “I’ve killed so many people, I’ve done so much fucked up shit.”

“Javier, you’re so much more than that. I adore you, I know you’re a good man. Good people do bad things, it’s the way things go around here. That day out in the small district, you nagging about my vest? You saved my life. And what we’ve got going on, us and this baby, it’s a good thing, something you deserve, Javier.”

He pressed a kiss to the left side of your chest, close to your heart. “You’re the one thing keeping me sane.”

“I try my best”, you chuckled.

“Stop being so amazing, I can’t take it”, he joked, kissing his way up your neck.

You grabbed a hold of his face, having him look up at you. “Javier Peña, I’m in love with you and all your quirks. But if you smoke one more cigarette in this here apartment, I will kick you out.”

Taglist: @pedritomando @peterhollandkait @ophelia-ingenue @radiowallet @phoenixhalliwell @diogodxlot @rosiefridayrogersunday @a-court-of-feysand-and-elorcan @asta-lily @the-bottom-of-the-abyss​

[rusticottage]

Hi you all!

I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately and I finally got in an agreement with myself. Well, first of all my main goal with this blog was to share some chill gameplay photos, but then I made this really comfortable space here, and you all are so nice, that I want to open my horizons, so I’ll be sharing a list with the books I’m reading on 2021 right here in this post!

My plan is to pin this post on my blog and keep it updated with my 2021 readings, rating the books and stuff, don't worry if this is not your thing, this will be probably the one time you see this post (unless you keep checking my blog), I won’t be rebloging this post or anything since I guess some of you only follow me cuz ts4.

Anyways! I really want to make this a healthy, cozy space, where we can talk about books (and pride and prejudice movie) so plz, feel free to put your opinion here, or add a book rec on this post or send me an ask, idk, this is a bookworm space <3

Hope you all have a great year with healing, and find new hobbies to keep your mind busy and learning! Love you all <3

📚 6/50 📚 

Currently: The Hidden Life of Trees, The Kiss Quotient

𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

Book: Little Fires Everywhere

Author: Celeste Ng

Rate: three and a half stars

really intresting subjects

great family construction

complete characters with a nice background

kind of boring, but not enough to make you stop reading i think

𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

Book: The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe

Author: Douglas Adams <3

Rate: 827163 stars

sorry I just really love this series

0 flaws

laughed my ass off (ford <333)

ultimate chef kiss

𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

Book: The Hating Game

Author: Sally Thorne

Rate: five HUGE stars

I was going to give 3,5 stars in the first half of the book cuz the main character is like 5 feet tall, and the book really wanted to make sure you knew she was small, tiny, little, small and the man was kind of boring for me like he had super virgo vibes

then on 75% I was going to give it 4,5 starts cuz I can’t describe how much every single thing that have happened just made sense, like everything and I was SHOCKED

on the last chapter I cried like a bitch and I needed to give this 5 star ok

I really love romance ok :)

𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

Book: The Mothers

Author: Brit Bennett

Rate: three and a half stars

Intresting subjects

I felt the same ‘problem’ as when I read Little Fires Everywhere, it isn’t a book about magic or romance or whatever, it’s a book about casual ‘daily’ drama, which I am kind of disinterested, like, for real my dude

So what I got from this book is that this genre is def not for me

Like I couldnt care less for any of them or their problems, I was kind of maaaad on the 75% of the book cuz people are shit, but in general couldnt care less

This is The Mothers genre:

Ant this is Little Fires Everywhere genre:

I hate them (the genres) bye

𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

Book: The Picture of Dorian Gray

Author: Oscar Wilde

Rate: five stars

It has a really complex full of thoughts reflections about beauty and really got me thinking

I wanted to mark every page for gods sake

“To define is to limit” fave quote of many many good ones you will find there

Oscar Wilde is some kind of chaotic dark academia bitch and I am here for it, really want to study some beauty philosophy from socrates now, thanks Oscar my dude

𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

Book: The Song of Achilles

Author: Madeline Miller

Rate: four and a half starts (but could easily be five)

Man, how do I start this. I thought this book was really dense, really poetic, I love it fr

patroclo describing man: he was strong, big, everyone could see him, etcetcetc

patroclo describing woman: she had hair and nails

 I didnt cried but like its possible

what made me give four and a half was cuz at some points I felt patroclo kind of obsessed, not obsessed but like GO EASY u know, I know that the guy was almost a god but omg, easy boy

[garbagegrimoire]

podcast notes week 1

Here are the notes I had going into the podcast recording for week 1. 

There are some spoilers in here & all of the doodle/synopsis posts have not yet dropped but the episode is recorded & here we gooooo...

Train to Busan

Starting out strong with a zombley deert (to speak in cursed rickyisms).

Giving his kid some yuppie bullshit talk & almost gets them clobbered in traffic, great dad.

Damn that escalated quickly. Why did it take so long for the first lady to turn but the others are like instantaneous?

The shots, effects, & choreography in this movie are crazy!

The grandma has lucid moments before changing which seems more than what the passengers got. & she used them to break hearts.

Ohhh he's a “fund manager,” ofc he's a dick.

Watching a zombie movie during a pandemic hits different.

I like that the bad ass in this movie is a soon to be dad with a dad bod & he's also a boomer who doesn't know how to change his ringtone.

Okay, they’re officially fit daddy & dad bod.

Okay legit tears at dad bod sacrificing himself even though I knew it was coming.

LOL young capitalist bastard fighting old capitalist bastard

This is capitalism & I hate it. OFC the motherfucker willing to screw over everyone else even if he doesn't need to prevails nearly to the end.

We need a zombie killing axe... Oh wait, nevermind, a shoe is good too.

Oh wow, that shit is poignant. The most ruthless capitalist of the group having a mama moment before he changes.

I'm sitting here yelling, get his nards, fit daddy! Do the nuts still have any effect?

Oh shit, fit daddy is infected. Human bites are gross.

This sucks, I hate it. :(

OH FUCK WHY DO THEY MAKE IT WORSE OMG!

& worse.

I didn't want to cry this much, not fair.

Re-Animator

Ooh, my German 101 skills are tingling.

Chaos nerd is everything in this scene. You wondrous ball of absolute cheese.

The security guard saying "Nobody wants in & ain't nobody getting out" is the Chekov's gun of this movie.

Fuckin’ nerd talk. Do either of you even lift? Why don't you duke this out in a tables, ladders, & chairs match?

I don't feel great about that transition between her playfully saying "no" & them full plowing. Greeeeeassy.

I'm with the cat on this one — scratch him!

"The world's last living puritan." LOL, come to eastern Washington tho.

How in the world is this lady's creep radar going off w nerdboy but not with the creepy old man trying to bang her?

They did a few things really well with this cat thing. Because usually I could not DEAL with violence against a pet. First the dead cat doesn't look anywhere near realistic, nonetheless once it's reanimated. Also, there's no like huge emotional connection between the character & the cat because the only experience the viewer has with it prior to it dying is it scratching his back after he's done banging, which I mean, solid choice there kitty.

"Because it's maaaad?" Best line in this mf movie.

I like how quick Halsey turns on nerdboy who he was stoked on like two days later. All because he insulted the creepy old man?

"Here's your meatball!" Writers were A+ obv.

"I know you're all by yourself now." Ew no. Again, she reacts to something other than the creepy old guy trying to bang her. PLEASE REACT, maybe punch him in the face or move to a different state without notifying anyone.

I’m dying, it looks like he's dribbling cherry applesauce out of his mouth.

This is the corniest, dumbest break up scene I've ever watched.

So once they're lobotomized they have like a mind link with the old guy head? Alright...?

Okay so we've arrive. This scene is fucking pure unadulterated cringe & makes me feel like I need to take several showers & drink bleach.

"Get a job & a sideshow." This entire movie is this nerd & that's what I'm here for.

How is there this seemingly endless supply of this green ooze? Also this reminds me of TMNT.

LOL the murderous colon strikes.

I'm very confused on the rules of what stays alive & how. Like the hand is still twitching but the guy in the hallway is dead?

Nothing gore-wise has bothered me so far but the chest compression sound is gross.

This guy is the worst. If he loved her he'd let her die.

Plan 9 From Outer Space

"Future events such as these will affect you in the future." You don’t say, friend.

Hillabilly gravediggers saying "sorta spooky like" is the mood here.

The scream is so good. 

A conspiracy theorist manifesto delivered on a suburban patio made entirely out of wicker.

The walking dead in this movie are so much more chill than the last two, just saying. Like if you're going to kill me, fine, but be chill about it.

"The earth people who can think are so frightened by those who cannot — the dead." Truuuuuuu. Thinking sucks, bro.

The pillow talk is all kinds of weird.

Hey, I know you're worried too, but because you're a child that can't care for herself, make sure you lock the doors because that's something a feeble woman wouldn't remember to do.

"You are on the verge of destroying the entire universe." Ooof this hits different now.

Yeah, it's old timey & corny but there are some seriously artsy scenes in this. I love the glowing trees.

Vampira is aesthetic goals if: I was more feminine, if I gave a fuck, if anyone ever looked at me, lol.

If some big dead dude was coming for you why in the hell would you just stand there or sit there & scream? Like these are the easiest monsters to escape from, you all are so gd slow.

That's it, I'm dressing up as one of these aliens for Halloween. All I need is some black pants, a belt, & a shiny purple shirt.

LOL little green men. Shoot first, ask questions later. Get all the tropes in there buck-o.

I just realized the dude alien is called Eros & I'm laughing. Total heartthrob. "You're always right, Eros." Fucking yuuuck. Miss me with all of this.

Holy trigger happy.

Explode the actual particles of sunlight. LOL, OMG "STRONGER NATION THAN NOW." These fucking nationalist trashbags.

Yes, of course aliens are religious too. & the're sexists. OH MY GOD IM GOING TO THROW THE MONITOR OUT THE WINDOW STAHP!

This was so much. I mean it's the old humans are dumb, violent animals & need to be gently led or annihilated. Okay, that can be true. But the aliens here needed to FOAD too.

Dead Birds

Is Mark Boone Jr in everything & will he die early? (yes)

Very aesthetic theme

Bank manager's whiskers are on point. 

The fuck? Oooh racist, niiiiice. I hate everyone all the time.

Yup this is how bank robbers would behave, wanting to kill of members of the gang to get a bigger share.

Gross, just listening into their friends banging, being creepy.

Is it turning into a bear? (Ohhh, the footprints)

Okay one of these dudes actually has something like a conscience, good to know, still hate him.

54 minutes in & I'm getting real bored.

Good jump scare w the little girl.

Okay the lady in the barn was too much for me. Gore was too much.

"There are worse things than dying" Best line.

Okay first I was like "that's not vomit, it's too white" & then I realized she'd been in bed with her dude earlier & yelled "ew, is she puking cum?" at my computer because that's where my dumpster fire of a brain goes.

Poor horses :(

He just disappeared? TF?

Nah, I’m not feeling this.

[kuningannasansa]

A musketeers rewatch (that nobody asked for) 1x02

(very anti annamis, so if that bothers you steer clear :)

We open with Dartagnan preparing for a duel and declaring “I was raised to fight like a gentleman”. I thought he was a farmboy? I’m so confused.

“Every man for himself!” – lol! But also, is that what you were thinking when you decided to screw up everyone’s life with your dick Aramis?

Now Dartagnan has been arrested for illegal duelling. Which is fair and exactly what should happen. I mean, they should arrest that red guard too, ofc. But for all that the musketeers whine about their toys being banned by the nanny state, I think we can agree that laws banning duels were actually progressive and good?

Treville is MAAAAD!! Good!

“I’ve never been unpopular before” HA HA HAAA HAAAAA! You just wait a few seasons, honey.

Why do the extra background musketeers have period accurate clothing and ‘our heroes’ don’t? I mean, I get these leather getups are supposed to be sexy, but they don’t do it for me at all. I’d like realistic clothing more

Oh hey! It was all an act! I had legit forgotten! I am glad I’m doing this rewatch lol, there’s so much good stuff I’m experiencing again as if for the first time! Also, Treville is clearly a suppressed thespian!

Now Athos says Dartagnan is a farmboy again?????? I guess he’s a farmboy who was taught to fight like a gentleman for some reason

Aramis tells Porthos that he’s a terrible judge of character and he does like Aramis, so maybe that’s true…

Treville thinks Dartagnan’s life is worth the risk if he can uncover what the villain of the week is planning. I love my pragmatic dad!

Aramis says he loves violence in a woman. Well, I’m free to beat the shit out of him any time...

I was about to comment on the good old days when Anne had political acumen and cultivated a good public image by giving alms and grantign clemency to some prisoners. But then she told the governor of the prison that she would like to free all his charges and his face turned sour so maybe she always sucked at diplomacy? I’ll reserve judgement thou, I remember her as very clever and capable in season one.    

Prison Break: 1630 is looking good

Athos doesn’t have faith in Dartagnan to manage the mission. From his perspective it makes sense, but it still upsets me. 

Richelieu and Treville are working together on this one! Oh goodie!

Now this is the worst bit! Milady tells Richelieu she can get Dartagnan back by lying that she stabbed the guy in the last episode in self defence. And well… that does give people a valid reason to think that she lied about Thomas trying to rape her as well. For the record, I still believe her, her story remains constant throughout and she sticks by it even when she has absolutely no reason to lie. But this scene does give the haters a semi valid reason to doubt her and I hate that. And most importantly, this ambiguity in the text should not exist. The writers should have told us on screen one way or the other to avoid all this nasty discourse. Sometimes ambiguity is a wonderful device (cough*black sails final/*cough) but rape is not a topic that should be treated like that.    

Richelieu is turned on by her act thou. And slightly repulsed. By how turned on he is.

Milady is looking for Vadim on Richelieu’s orders! She’s on the same side as the musketeers, doing the same job (probably more successfully)! Watch them judge her anyway.

RICHELIEU WANTS FLOWERS!!

Oh no, Anne, don’t show Aramis affection! He’ll be stalking you for the rest of your life!

Porthos does not approve and neither do I.

Porthos reminds Aramis of Adelle lol. WRECK HIM PORTHOS!!

SUZETTE!!

Bonacieux is so very dumb, it’s delightful!

Milady just shot two of Richelieu’s red guards. Either she had his authorisation to do it when necessary or she just doesn’t give a fuck. I suspect the later.

Milady is promising Dartagnan riches and to introduce him to her “powerful patron” if he takes her to Vadim. Why? If Treville and Richelieu are cooperating on this why are their respective agents in the dark? Or perhaps RIchelieu is trying to catch Vadim on his own behind Treville’s back and get all the credit? Hehee

Athos is threatening to have Suzette whipped. And she tells him that it’s usually the other way around with musketeers, “but if the money’s right”. LMAO WRECK HIM!!

They are planning to use decoys at Easter mass to lure out Vadim and Anne says “the people know their King and Queen too well”. Do they, thou? They had wood cuttings back then not the fucking People Magazine. But I guess the plot hinges on the real royals going so whatever.

Louis: “My father never shirked public obligation” Richelieu: “Your father was assassinated”

“Common sense is for commoners” oh Louis! Listen to Richelieu!!

Richelieu says he may have misjudged, but I still think he’s right. I mean, politically speaking, it is good for people to see their King, not have him cowering behind castle walls while they are put in danger. But I still maintain those peasants would not be any wiser if they just sent decoys.

I like Vadim’s greed for money under a disguise of not entirely fake anti monarchism as a motivation. His plan is really clever too! Season 1 really had very good villains!

Richelieu in proper red cardinal’s robes! Me likey!

“Surrender or die!” lmao, as if they’re not going to hang him if he surrenders. I’d rather be shot, personally.

Milady kills Suzette. Okay, she was part of a conspiracy to rob the royal treasury so she would have been executed anyway, but I still don’t like it. Can we not kill all the cool female characters please?

Vadim’s death is beautifully shot, with him dropping treasure everywhere as he walks through the smoke. Cinematically very good!

Constance does not miss the quiet life! Bless!

So Milady lied to Richelieu and kept the Queen’s pendant she got from Suzette? But then that plot never went anywhere, as far as I remember. I know there were some cut Milady scenes in episodes 4 – 6 so I guess they decided to drop it, but I would have loved to see her have more agency independent of Richelieu as she pursues her own agenda.

Red Guards killed in the line of duty: 2 (let’s pour one out for them!) 

Women fridged: Suzette RIP!

Best Dressed: Louis and Anne (not an easy choice cause Constance and Milady also had some very nice dresses in this episode, but in the end I’m a trashy bitch who loves bling)  

[facelessdreamer]

Fuck

I hate my mum so fucking much. I shouldn't but I feel it. I’m just so fucking mad because she’s she. I fucking fuck o my god I just arghhhhhgggggfhshgskwwj fucking ARGHHGGGGGGGGHHHHHH the fuck she make me do things? Why the fuck does whatever she say to me piss me off this much. I don’t give a shit about her words and constant nonsense about the same shit okay! And why the fuck does she drag something on for so long?! You can always always always fucking see I’m in the middle of some shit. Whether it’s tv or fucking all set to leave the house. Yet you’ll fucking talk and keep me from it. And I always try so fucking hard to just stand or sit there and hear your fucking shit I don't wanna hear. I don’t listen. I just hear bc that’s all I can naturally do. Seriously the shit she talks about with me doesn’t ever interest me and Ive no energy or will for it. I just wanna go on about my life and never be stopped for a minute. I have my own wars beefing me in here already. I barely fucking watch tv either. Today’s my day off in like absolute fucking ages. I hadn’t spent a day at home for weeks and she's out here talking on the phone needing the tv volume low and being her usual loud on the phone and I can’t hear shit on the tv? but when she watches tv were not allowed to make a fucking sound? only double standards from this woman aggravate me on a level as high as this. Later she even hoovers in the same room for 15 fucking minutes, are you dumb? It’s not a fucking mile long mate why take that long I'm building all this shit load of adrenaline and already fuming after 5 minutes of her presence with this clutter. I watched her the whole time instead bc she was blocking the fucking tv and sound with the bloody Hoover noise so I was forced to see all this instead. All I wanted was to watch this single programme man. that's all. it may not matter in 2 days or 5 years but I wanted this, for now, for the moment I desired this. So tell my why tf does it take that long to Hoover this small space in our living room? I swear the longer she took outside of 5 minutes pissed me the fucck offf and I was just there sitting, building samosas and fuming. I really couldn't help it. this part of my life everything made my blood boil. my mother was sitting at top throne of that fucking trigger mate. Fucking hell the way I always hold shit in with her just takes me soo mad I can’t even explain. All my nerves will explode and I could die. 

My fucking 7 year old shit of a little cunt sister pissed me off as well too. Several times today. I was watching tv during the time my mum made me come down and make somosas while she was also talking on the phone like I said. I wanted her to just leave bc I couldn’t hear the tv and she also made us minimise the volume. The fucking nerve. Anyway I make her leave when there’s not much left to do with the somosas now. I switch to the plus one channel bc I wanna watch the whole royal programme again hearing every word of it and I can get what I wanted out of today finally. But noooooo now this little cunt who refused to leave the room now too kept making a million loud and unnecessary fucking noises and I was just so astonished at how she was so capable at making so many annoying sounds with her presence. How can she make that much noise in front of my eyes and why were they so heightened. They were bangs and shuffles and paper crunch and jar closing noises. Like I told her several times nicely to stop! I can’t hear the tv. And already bc I have to speak out to her underdeveloped brain I was again missing the programme. 

Mums in my room now calmly, like usual utters make sure you put it blah blah so they don’t end up somehow back in the dirty laundry and omdssss it was like bitch why the fuck are you even talking since you came up. I’m mad rn and you’re bursting my fucking bubble again. I was hanging on by a fucking thread and could have gone to bed mad with all that shit I was feeling about her but noooo she came up talking in such a calm manner while I'm so mad and dying the fuck inside. And calm talk when I’m fucking mad coming from the person I’m mad at and especially from my mother again pisses me of like a knife to the gut. My anger and level of resentment it ain’t normal so don’t tp me over the fucking edge but ya did didn't ya! these days breathing even pisses me off so imagine my mother fs. Anyways she now says to me in a subtle manner don’t be angry and just like that, I’ve lost it. I just said something automatically back. I said WHY YOU ALWAYS IN MY STUFF she goes.. who? I say YOUUUU, DONT EVER TOUCH MY SHIT AND STAY OUT IF IT WHY YOU ALWAYS TOUCHING IT AND DONT EVER TOUCH WHATVER IS MINE IN MY ROOM AGAIN Like I’m so mad man bc wtf when I entered my room beforehand I knew instantly shit was touched. My resentment mingled with emotions of anger is mega mega heavy when my shits touched by anyone. Especially this little shit and my mum bc that’s when shit goes missing, things are mistaken for rubbish and then things are misplaced. I don’t like that shit. I don’t. I don’t like it. It pisses me off in a different way. Do not touch my shit. Like noooo I don’t carrrreeee, if you think it’s rubbish I don’t caaaree leavveeeeee it motherfuckering alooooneeee. I don’t care if there’s a dead rat laying in the centre of my room. Do. not. fucking. move. it. My mum yeah comes in and does what she likes. I noticed some things that were different from last I saw it and something that didn’t mean much that I kept she threw away the other day and I picked it up again bc I could have added it to a rubbish collection of mine and today it’s gone again. Are you dumbbbbbb when I noticed that amongst a couple other things like earlier she had my sibling bring down a handful of my Nike socks to put in the wash FUCK SAKE what? Fuckk off now, no! Do nooot dooo that! OMDS fs I was so mad and agitated I don’t like it man like I don’t I could cry. I can’t tell you why it deeply bothers me but it does so please do not touch my shit fucking hell! I don’t care if it’s dirty. I’ll handle it bc I literally decide when to take it down for a wash and until I make that decision and you done it for me? no that's not okay. idk why I get this deep angered feeling man but just fuck off. Then a mention from her the other day saying why do I keep my room so junked with condiments shoved with shit inside, like keep less. And that came about in my head during all this madness so that added to today’s events and why in a burst of anger I said why do you touch my stuff etcetera. She never said nothing and just went down because she knew I was mad now. To her over nothing but to me over fucking everything. It’s a whole days worth of built up anger man and I don’t have the will to go on telling you everything on why I’m mad toward you bc I’ll breakdown form it all and I really don’t want to bc you happen to be my fucking mother and I don’t like later regretting the very true shit I’d say in this state. But it kills not to as I  bottle it up and feel the pain of these unsaid things. better me than you though. 

I balled my eyes out just before writing all this bc I was angry I could not. Got that fucking pain in my neck from holding back the cry. Like reading through it sounds like why did I get so mad and cry about it all. But it was a whole days worth of built up anger and other little things through out so I stood there then in my room for a moment then with all the anger and mean words inside me that I wanted to say out loud that I couldn’t therefore didn’t. I was just feeling it all. Then my dad came up saying whats up, am I mad and stuff like tell me. I kept saying nothing and that each time he said something to me. Bc obviously he heard my tantrum thrown at my mum. Heck the whole house heard. I didn’t scream or yell thaaat loud but it was me in the house who was being angry and throwing a fit today. So yeah after dad left my room door almost closed I sat and I cried silently. I just hate so many things about my mum man. I don’t even think hate is the right word. I just don't wanna be her anything. She is what makes me tick most. The things she says to me about all things and even about me. Like I don’t care. I don’t want to hear it. If I hear it I just get mad I don’t get hurt. or maybe I do get hurt and subliminal ignore the hurt and instantaneously replace it with emotion of severe anger with a lot of resentment. Like it just bothers me I can’t be myself bc she’ll throw the biggest fit and occasionally cry bc you’ll feel so shameful of your daughter being anyway that you don’t want or approve of. Like that’s why i hide so much of me already and have to leave the house before she catches a glimpse of me and come home making sure the same thing. I tread carefully around my mum bc she will throw the ugliest and meanest fits that I cannot allow her to feel or cause vibes in the house bc of. Like it’s too much. So if there’s anything I can do to help that than I will hide and be who I am. It’s all so complicated man. last thing I did was get up before getting in bed and slam my door shut so she can hear know I'm maaaad. it felt good. Hope it have her a shock. 

Like idek why I run to my blog. I just had to let it all out somewhere and I hadn’t cried in forever so that was something.

I’m fucking hungry too. I barely ever eat and there’s nothing to eat. Nothing appetises me at all

Fuck I still feel shit

[littlelovelymemes]

✰ * º ❛   friends sentence starters   ❜

‘  *reading obituaries* suddenly i wish i was reading my own name.  ’ ‘  you don’t even have oven mitts on!  ’ ‘  wow. i could so easily freak out right now.  ’ ‘  do you think it’s easy for me to see you with somebody else?  ’ ‘  hey, you remembered to put clothes on this morning.  ’ ‘  no more falafel for you!  ’ ‘  we were on a break!!  ’ ‘  you’re such a tattletale.  ’ ‘  i love you goddesses!  ’ ‘  everyone i know is either getting married or getting pregnant or getting promoted and I’m getting coffee. And it’s not even for me!  ’ ‘  it’s   ’ ‘  this is all a moo point. yeah, it’s like a cow’s opinion, it doesn’t matter. it’s moo.  ’ ‘  so, the ebola virus. that’s gotta suck, huh?  ’ ‘  my gynecologist tried to kill me.  ’ ‘  you can’t tell, but i’m trying to break the tension by mooning you guys.  ’ ‘  boy, you are not a morning person.  ’ ‘  yeah, well, i’m a slut.  ’ ‘  how you doin’?  ’ ‘  i am warm... for your form.  ’ ‘  i’m really looking forward to you and me having sexual intercourse.  ’ ‘  are you saying that you don’t wanna get with this?  ’ ‘  hey, you’re a pathetic loser, right?  ’ ‘  sometimes i wish i was a lesbian... did i say that out loud?  ’ ‘  if i were a guy and... did i just say, ‘if i were a guy’?  ’ ‘  i guess things were just going to well for me!  ’ ‘  i don’t have a plan. i don’t even have a ‘pla.’  ’ ‘  he’s so pretty i want to cry!  ’ ‘  prepare to feel very bad about yourself.  ’ ‘  i’m sorry that’s who i am. i’m a positive person.  ’ ‘  no, i’m a positive person. you are like santa clause on prozac at disneyland, getting laid.  ’ ‘  i’m hopeless and awkward and desperate for love!  ’ ‘  she was nice. i mean, she’s a little slutty, but who isn’t?  ’ ‘  honey, this is not your fault. just because you guys had a fight, it does not justify them sleeping with someone else.  ’ ‘  from now on, i am not getting out of this chair, ever. okay? from now on, this chair is the one.  ’ ‘  i wish i could, but i don’t want to.  ’ ‘  alright, i took the quiz and, it turns out, i do put career before men.  ’ ‘  look at him, he’s so cute. i just wanna go over there, grab him, and kiss him!  ’ ‘  i think, if it was a little colder in there, i could see your nipples through that sweater.  ’ ‘  what’s wrong with me... oh, don’t open that door.  ’ ‘  let me think, let me think... oh, i don’t care!  ’ ‘  i have no idea what’s going on, but i’m excited!  ’ ‘  i tend to keep talking until somebody stops me.  ’ ‘  when i first meet somebody, it’s usually panic, anxiety, and a great deal of sweating.  ’ ‘  are we greeting each other this way now? because i like it.  ’ ‘  it looks like you fell asleep with a hanger in your mouth.  ’ ‘  you wanna play twister?  ’ ‘  once, i got dumped during sex.  ’ ‘  here we are, with our future before us, and i only want to spend it with you.  ’ ‘  welcome to the real world. it sucks. you’re gonna love it!  ’ ‘  hey, you cry every time somebody talks about the titanic.  ’ ‘  if worst comes to worst, i’ll be your boyfriend.  ’ ‘  who loses 57 coin tosses in a row? you know? heads, she wins. tails, i lose.  ’ ‘  shut up! shut up! SHUT UP!  ’ ‘  i’m so glad we’re having this rehearsal dinner, you know? it’s so rare that i get to practice my meals before eating them.  ’ ‘  you always believed in me, even when i didn’t believe in myself.  ’ ‘  you’re fake laughing too, right?  ’ ‘  it’s sunday morning, i am not running on a sunday.  ’ ‘  ugh, dammit. why did i open my mouth?  ’ ‘  wow, we really are bitches.  ’ ‘  so why don’t you be a grown up and come and watch some tv in the fort!  ’ ‘  i don’t know what i’m gonna do with my life.  ’ ‘  i’m full, and yet i know if i stop eating this, i’ll regret it.  ’ ‘  kill me. kill me now.  ’ ‘  i want to sit in a comfortable chair, watch television, and go to sleep at a reasonable hour!  ’ ‘  what must it be like to not be crippled by fear and self-loathing?  ’ ‘  a stripper at a bachelor party, that is so cliché. why don’t you guys get a magician?!  ’ ‘  i’m curvy and i like it!  ’ ‘  i don’t share food!  ’ ‘  if i have to, i’d pee on any one of you.  ’ ‘  the fridge broke so i had to eat everything.  ’ ‘  you can’t have s-e-x when you’re taking care of the b-a-b-i-e!  ’ ‘  you’re over me? when were you... under me?  ’ ‘  these are just feelings. they’ll go away.  ’ ‘  i used to think of you as somebody that would never, ever hurt me.  ’ ‘  i mean, sure, i have my bad days, but then i remember what a cute smile i have.  ’ ‘  offering people gum is not cooking.  ’ ‘  i bought him a $500 watch and he wrote me a rap song.  ’ ‘  you know you should go outside and be with the three-dimensional people.   ’ ‘  no, inside good. outside baaaaad.  ’ ‘  they’re always saying ‘let’s go here, let’s go there.’ like we can afford to go here and there.  ’ ‘  i hate my job. i hate it. oh, i want to quit, but then i think i should stick it out.  ’ ‘  you think i have $1200? i’m home in the middle of the day and i got patio furniture in my living room.  ’ ‘  neat! i’m gonna die alone!  ’ ‘  okay, could you just stop talking for a second?  ’ ‘  i’ve sort of had feelings for you.  ’ ‘  today, it’s like there’s rock bottom, fifty feet of crap, then me.  ’ ‘  why am i friends with these people?  ’ ‘  i eat by myself in the alley because everyone hates me.  ’ ‘  i’m a lone wolf. a loner. alone. all alone. forever.  ’ ‘  my life is an embarrassment! i should just go live under somebody’s stairs.  ’ ‘  if i died, the only way people would know that i was here would be the ass print on this chair!  ’ ‘  i always thought if you and i got married, that would be the one that stuck.  ’ ‘  hi, i make jokes when i’m uncomfortable.  ’ ‘  i am not ‘blah’, i am a hoot!  ’ ‘  i just realized i can sleep with my eyes open.  ’ ‘  up until i was 25, i thought that the only response to ‘i love you’ was ‘oh, crap!’  ’ ‘  if the homo sapiens, were in fact ‘homo’ sapiens, is that why they’re extinct?  ’ ‘  do you think i need a new walk?  ’ ‘  you don’t own a tv? what’s all your furniture pointed at?  ’ ‘  just think of it like this: the third day. monday, one day. tuesday, two day. wednesday... when? huh? what day? thursday! the third day!  ’ ‘  eye-contact? i hope you were using protection!  ’ ‘  you were right, and from now on, yo make all my decisions for me.  ’ ‘  you said your boss wants to buy your baby?  ’ ‘  why god, why?!! we had a deal!! let the others grow old! not me!!  ’ ‘  last night i was finishing off a pizza and she said, ‘a moment on the lips, forever on the hips!’ i don’t need that kind of talk in my house!  ’ ‘  you’re druuuuunk. mom and dad are gonna be maaaad! ...maybe i’m a little drunk.  ’ ‘  let her know i like her? are you insane?  ’ ‘  what’s it gonna take for you to forgive me?  ’ ‘  isn’t that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?  ’ ‘  you’re crying over a doritos commercial.  ’ ‘  that fake british woman is a real bitch, but she sure can dance.  ’ ‘  i think it’d be better for my ego if we didn’t stand right next to each other.  ’ ‘  seriously... good luck on marrying me.  ’ ‘  there is no ‘us’, okay?  ’ ‘  i fell for you and i get clobbered. you then fall for me and i again, somehow, get clobbered.  ’ ‘  it’s just not worth it.  ’ ‘  we are never gonna happen, okay? accept that.  ’ ‘  you know what? you’re the one who ended it.  ’ ‘  i ended it because i was mad at you. not because i stopped loving you.  ’ ‘  imagine the worst things you think about yourself. now, how would you feel if the one person you trusted the most in the world not only thinks them too, but actually uses them as reasons not to be with you.  ’ ‘  you were worth the wait.  ’ ‘  that’s our baby.  ’ ‘  you deserve to be with someone who appreciates and who gets how funny and sweet and amazing and adorable and sexy you are.  ’

[polyscripts]

You’d Won

Prompt; “I’ve been fighting in this revolution before it could even be called that!” ---  so basically this is mostly just reader (you), and how you made your way through the ages as a bad ass ;)

Pairing(s); Washington's x reader , hamilsquad x reader (platonic) , Ben Tallmadge x reader (platonic)

Warning(s); canon era , mostly just historical moments, fluff, angst at the end 

A/N; this is maaaad old lol, but I finished it up? MOSTLY JUST READER , posted it because its the 444444thththththt

okay so if you haven't seen Turn; Washington Spies , do it because that show is highkey the shiiiit 

March 5th, 1770 - Boston Massacre

(This is NOT completely historically accurate)

“I’ll be fine Martha, I swear” you whined, but the said woman only held you closer from where she had you wrapped up in her arms. You sighed, finally melting into her motherly touch, absorbing as much warmth from her as you could. 

“I know, I just wish you’d stay here with us” she pouted, pulling away to caress your cheeks. You sighed but gave her a soft smile that would sooth her nerves for the most part. “You know how I feel about you going out there” she scolded.

“I won’t be gone long, besides- you two are the closest i have to family anyways” she smiled happily at you before another voice spoke from the other side of the room.

“Do they know your coming? Will you write once your safely there?” your attention turned to George’s voice as he came up from where he stood silently in the doorway. You rolled your eyes, of corse he would be the next one to baby you. That’s all they ever did to you.

“Of corse, what do I look like?” you teased, but it didn't sooth his worried lines, as he came up to envelope you in his arms. You immediately returned his hug, capturing the feeling as much as you could before you forced yourself to pull away. Knowing if you’d stayed up in his arms any longer you’d end up postponing your trip later than expected.

“Stay aware” were his words of warning, hand resting on your shoulder as he stared down at you with loving eyes. The love a father had for his daughter.

“Of corse”

“To YNN!” once in Boston you had met with Sam and Ben before running to the pub to celebrate your arrival. 3 pints in and you were standing on tables, screaming of freedom.  

“-And to the revolution!” that caused the tavern to erupt into even more screams, the sound floating through the nights air. The screaming also catching a few unwanted attention from officers patrolling the streets.

“Whats going on in here?” a voice boomed through the shouting, almost silencing the crowd. You turned from where Ben had you up in his arms, he was introducing you to Sam Adams who was also fighting for a revolution. You both got along well, speaking passionately about freedom and starting a group of soldiers to help jumpstart the revolution. 

Your eyes snapped over to the man standing in the doorway, his red jacket and powdered wig making him stand out in the sea of dark colors. He was glaring at a younger girl who was innocently trying to pass beers around to the men. You watched as the officer reached for the girl, but you spoke up before he could lay his hands on her.

“Dont touch her ass hole” all eyes seemed to turn to you, wide and stunned that it was a woman instead of a man. The officer glared at you before a sly grin curled at his lips, his hands going to his hips.

“- and what’ll you do, whore” the name rolled off his tongue like venom, and it made your blood hot with anger. Your hands clenched into fist as you stomped up to him, the crowd parting like the sea to allow you access. The look in your eye was dangerous, and you swore you saw the grin falter for a second before returning challengingly. 

“I’ll make sure your head is wrapped up in a pretty bow for the king” you snarled. Thats what seemed to cause the chaos, one second you were inside the tavern, the next you were being dragged out into the streets.

“Unhand her!” Sam shouted, reaching for a bottle and throwing it nowhere. The bottle shattered in the street, causing other officers to halt there patrol and rush over. The crowd from inside poured out into the street, the shouting growing louder as people began to peek out from within there homes.

“Silence!” the officer who still gripped your arm, shouted but their screams never did. You took his distracted state and elbowed him in his side, kicking his knee in before running away. You faintly heard him shout ‘fire’ before the first shot rang out.

It was like a cannon going off in your ear as you watched a boy, no older than 15, hit the ground in a puddle of his own blood. You were so close, you felt the warmth of his blood splatter against your face. After that there was nothing but screams and gun shots that filled the air. You felt someone grip your arm, spinning around just int time for something to hit you across the face.

“This’ll teach you to interfere with a mans business” You growled, rolling away before he could stab you with his bayonet. You kicked him between the legs, spitting the mouthful of blood in his direction. While doing this you missed the other red coat who was trying to sneak up on you.

“Miss! Watch out!” you felt a hand grip your arm in time to dodge the business end of a bayonet. You blinked away your daze to see who your savior was, your eyes locking with a pair of hazel ones. 

“Are you alright?” he asked worriedly, eyes darting all across your blood stained face. The gunshots seemed to be over, nothing left but soft cries and frantic shouting for doctors. 

You looked back at the man who was holding your arms in his grip, a lost puppy look on his face as he studied you. You opened your mouth in response, but crumpled seconds after, clutching to your side in pain. When you pulled your hand away, blood coated your finger tips. “Not now..” you groaned a bit in annoyance. You must’ve been to into the fight to feel yourself being shot.

“Y-Your bleeding! We gotta get you to a doctor!” the man panicked, already looking around as if one would appear right before your eyes. You rolled your eyes at his lack of cool, and leaned back against the brick wall for support. You hissed as you pushed against your wound to at least cease the bleeding.

“Who are you..” you asked suddenly, his head whipping back to face you, a shadow casting across his face. His eyes flashed in your mind, a soft hazel with a face full of freckles to top it off. 

“I-I’m John Lauren’s, I was passing by when the gun shots started” he explained, running a hand through his mess of curls. You nodded silently, hissing when the bullet in your side began to burn.

“You need a doctor, theres a hospital-”

“Don’t, just take me to the house down the street from here” you hissed out, the pain only increasing the longer he stood there and worried. He hesitated, but one look from you had him moving you towards a house were two men stood already standing on the doorstep. One of them perked up at the sight of you hanging off Johns arm, and rushed to meet the two of you.

“What the fuck happened?!” Sam growled at John who was handing you over to Ben who scooped you up into his arms. Sam grabbed the boy by the collar, a menacing look in his eyes as John stuttered, you quickly intervened.

“He’s John, h-he saved me” you breathed, groaning as your blood grew thicker the more it left your body. Ben gave Sam a look as if to back down, and with a sigh he tossed John away. The boy stumbled back, a worried look still plastered across his face as Ben disappeared inside with you in his arms. Samuel blonde his view from inside, crossing his arms over his chest to seem bigger, while narrowing his eyes down at him.

“Thanks a lot kid, but she’ll be fine, you did a good thing. Now go home” with that he stepped inside and slammed the door shut behind him.

December 16, 1773 - Boston Tea Party

“I say we go tonight, their’ll be less officers on patrol with the new shipment coming in from the east” Ben nodded in agreement while looking back at Sam who gave you a proud grin. He slapped you on the back as you blushed but smiled back just as bright.

“Right on YNN, you heard her lads, we move tonight”

The air was freezing, the water just barely well enough to sail across as you and the others boarded a small boat less to be seen. You opted out of dressing in Indians wear, choosing your revolutionary garments instead.

“Stay low, you never know who could be watching” you hissed quietly, the men nodded and kept there heads bowed and ears open for any movement. Sam and Ben rowing across as you looked around. Your eyes caught sight of a man in the far back, he much much larger than all the others, and you stifled a giggled as he attempted to make himself smaller.

“It’s okay, you’ll be our strongest man up there” You could tell he was startled from how he jumped, nearly rocking the boat to the side. He stuttered out useless words as you simply took a seat beside him.

He surly was bulky, with a strong frame, and dark skin that resembled rich soil. His deep brown eyes bored into your soul, but he looked down before you could look any longer. He was tense at the sudden attention you were giving him, going silent when you didn't question him on the color of his skin. 

“I’m YN, but you can call me YNN, whats yours?” you asked as softly as you could. The others were murmuring softly amongst themselves, but he just fiddled with his fingers. You laid a hand over his, yours dwarfed in comparison to his. “..your allowed a voice when your around me” you reassured.

He looked at you hopefully, a small barrel noticeable smile on his face as he spoke as softly as he could. “M’ Hercules, ma’m, just Hercules” his voice was deep and sent shivers down your back as you smiled back at him. The smiled caused butterflies to erupt in his stomach but her forced them down knowing the consequences of his feelings.

“Well Hercules, I'm glad you could make it” you smiled, he nodded but went silent again. You took notice how he wasn't wearing much of anything to protect him from the cold. You removed the gray bundle from your head and handed it to him, the action surprising him.

“Here.. take this” you handed him the beanie, not knowing that this single article of clothing, he would hold dearly to him for the rest of his life. He stared down at the wool, running his calloused thumbs over the rough fabric.

“YN! We’re here” you snapped your head over to Sam and Ben who motioned you over. You patted Hercules on the back before giving him one last determined look, your signature look.

“We fight for this country Herc, for all of us”

He didn't know this would be the last time he’d see you for a long time. After the tea had been dumped into the harbor, you all ran and jumped over board before swimming back ashore where a crowd stood cheering loudly. He searched for you through the mass, but only caught a glimpse of you mounting your horse with a satisfactory smile. He tried calling out for you, but you were riding away into the night before you could be caught.

July 4th, 1776 - New York City

You were in New York with Sam, joining your father figure in the signing of the Declaration. You loved New York for the vibes it sent you. The streets were constantly filled with revolutionist, all fighting for the same cause as you.

In the years leading up to now, you’ve become a bit of a celebrity within the colonies. Citizens would stop you in the street just to discuss how happy and free they’ve felt after your acts of rebellion down in Boston. You couldn’t take full credit, if it weren't for all the connects you made in the years, you didn't know where you’d be.

But now that Boston was striving now without your aide, New York was the next best spot to spark more inspiration. Although you had to keep a low profile as of recently after being wanted all across by the king himself. Especially when there were loyalist still sneaking about willing to snitch you out. 

“Ugh, another one..” Sam muttered, barely sparing the man a glance as he continued looking forward. You glanced over to the man standing on a soap box in the middle of the square. You could just barely make out the words he was saying, but a few stuck out to you. And not in a positive way.

“Head not the rebels, who scream revolution, they have not your interest at heart!”

You made a face of annoyance, not have there interest at heart? Who the fuck was this guy? Your jaw clenched in annoyance, staring across the square at where he continued to shout out in free speech. What angered you more was the crowd that seemed to surround him.

“Go on, I’ve never stopped you before, and I'm sure I could break you out of jail this time” Sam laughed, turning his back so he’d have deniability. You snickered before turning on your heel striding towards the action.

“You must not value your life if you speak of the king in front of a his worst enemy” the crowd parted at the sight of you, a few gasping and squealing like school girls at your presence. You slowly walked towards the soap box, climbing up and presenting an air of dominance that made the man cower.

“Excuse me-”

“You believe wrong if you think someone like me could give less of a rats ass about what you had to say” you sneered, the man stumbled back nearly falling off the makeshift stage. The crowd laughed at this as you turned to them, your signature adorning your face as you placed a hand on your hip.

“Who says that little island should mess with us?! I say we fight back, as a colony!” the crowd cheered loudly, you laughed loud as you scanned the group of newly rowdy rebels. You caught a pair of familiar faces who seemed just as happy to see you again as you. 

“YN!” 

You waved happily, but froze when you heard a sharp cough from behind you. You winced, turning slowly to the two officers who glared down at you, prepared to grab and arrest you. 

“YN LN, you’re under arrest for-”

“Yea, yea I know, but you’ll have to catch me first~” you teased, dodging there hands and running right under there advances. You stole a glance back, sending a wink at the pair before disappearing around the corner.

October 17th , 1779 

When you rejoined with George you were well into your position of fighting for the freedom of the colonies. You were rising up, everyone knew that and they supported it, only few disapproved but they never voiced it to you in your face. They’d rather keep their teeth.

“I’m gonna need a right hand man..” George began, your excitement escalating a bit as you leaned forward. He looked thoughtful, as if he even needed to think about it when you already knew the person for the job. 

“Then let me be it!” you begged, startling him as he looked at you as if you had three heads. You looked so hopeful that if he were any other man, he’d laugh in your face. Except he only shook his head, having already had this conversation with you before. It was a typical argument, he always claimed your woman hood would through everyone off.

“We’ve discussed this already, YN” he returned to pacing his office while you huffed and stood up from your seat. You stood before him, his frame towering over you, but your hard gaze stopped his pacing.

“Then why can’t it be me!” you begged, but he just brushed past you, names and faces flashing across his mind for possible men. Your face appeared more time than he could count, but he couldn’t risk your safety in a mans war.

“You know why YNN, You’re just-”

“Just what? A woman? So what! I’ve done so much for this revolution! hell! I’ve been fighting it before it could even be called that!” you shouted now, your frustration building as he rolled his eyes and placed a hand on your arm. You glared up at him and stepped away, ignoring his sigh of annoyance.

“Go home, YNN” he finally muttered, walking towards his desk, a sign he was done arguing. but you sure as hell weren’t.

“No! Who better to command an army than me! I’ve fought plenty of red coats! I’ve-” you began to argue more, but his shoulders slumped in defeat knowing there was nothing he could do to stop it.

“YNN..”

“I’ve worked so hard! you can't just-”

“YN”

“You can't just brush me aside! I thought I-”

“YN!” “I thought you saw me as your daughter!” 

There was a tense silence in the air now, tension thick as George slowly turned to face you now. You were breathing heavily, eyes blurry with tears. His eyebrows furrowed in guilt, his heart heavy as his mouth opened and closed with no words leaving them. 

Your jaw clenched when Alexander entered the room, looking between the both of you confused. He opened his mouth to address the tension in the room when George spoke over him, using his General voice, as if nothing had just happened.

“Alexander, I was just discussing with YNN how well of a position you would fit..” you felt your hands ball up in fist, your eyes trained on a spot on the ground. Alex looked over to you, excited, but clearly still worried about sudden silence. You never were one for silence, always needing to involve your opinion over everyone else.

“What position is that, sir?” 

“I want you to be my right hand man..” the words left his mouth so easily you felt as if a ton had been dropped on your heart. You bit your lip to hold back a frustrated shout, but you just opted to snap your glare up at them. 

George had a hand on Alex’s shoulder, a proud look, a look a father gave his son. In that moment all you wanted was to rip him apart with your words, to tell the man who had practically raised you, that you hated him. That you hated everything he’d ever done to you, but then you’d be lying..

“I would be honored, sir” you were nearly shaking as you looked at Alex almost shocked, but not really, you knew how much he cared about his ego. Thats what drew the both of you to each other, your constant need to take for your own gain. He knew this position would take him places even after the war was through, but still. You would’ve thought at least your best friend, would say no to the offer you’d been speaking about since you’d met.

“Then lets get started right away son” that was all it took for your brain to mentally stop. Your breathing halted, your eyes went unfocused as you clenched your jaw so tight it might have popped. You didn't realize you were staring so coldly towards them until you heard Alex call out to you.

“YNN are you alright?” you blinked a bit, before focusing your gaze on them again. George looked sincerely guilty, and Alex looked a bit scared but you didn't care, you were heartbroken enough.

You didn't utter a single word to his worried ones, just turned on your heel and left. Forgetting all casualties, forgetting to bid your father, no, that man a goodnight. You just forgot because you’d never felt so insignificant, humiliated and infuriated, at this war until tonight.

December 24th , 1781 - YorkTown

You hadn’t seen George in years since the incident, you couldn't bare to even look at him after everything you’ve done to get so far. Even after all your hard work, being a woman still seemed to stop you from getting anything truly done.

But you didn't let it stop you from fighting, from winning the war you'd been fighting for, for so long. You didn't know you’d regret now sending your letters to him sooner, that you’d regret not telling him that you were sorry for being childish and running off. That you loved him, that he was your father and you didn't hate him, but missed him and needed him. But somewhere deep down you knew he already knew this, that he loved you so much more, and missed you so much more and worried for you every day that passed.

So laying here, in a puddle of your blood as the smoke of the cannons slowly seemed to fade into the air, you didn't feel bad about it. The sounds of war were distant, the fighting had long since stopped and you took in the smells of victory. The smell of ash and copper filled your senses, what would be the bitter taste of your blood on your tongue was sweet with the thought that you’d won. 

You knew that George would look for you after the war was done, would write you when you didn't return to Mount Vernon. When he’d return to see Martha's tear stricken face, holding a letter with your name written with an apology at the bottom, he’d know. But for now, he’d hold her and cry with her, tell the others of your victory and celebrate you for all that you’d done. 

Because he’d know that you won...

I didn't go back and edit because I just really wanted to post this :))

[thirstnotes]

This pisses me off. That the meanest shit I've ever heard. Wtf? How are you gon' stand there (yeah I said gon') and try to act like the authority on everything fanfiction? How fucked up is it for somebody to act all judgy about somebody else's work like every word that spills across your page is a piece of damn gold? You know what it's like to have someone rip your stuff to shreds. You know what its like to wish and PRAY that people like your stuff. So when you get a few likes under your belt, you're suddenly out for blood?

Fuck that.

I think that it's beautiful that people who even attempt to show their creativity (writing, drawing, animating or otherwise) are lovely and courageous to be brave enough to share their thoughts with the world. Of course, I don't include anything inappropriate, like the obvious subjects (including the fic shaming bullshit seen above). But anyway. The point is, that's their gift. If you brough a gift that you worked hard to pick, wrap and label, then someone took your gift and threw it to the ground and stomped on it telling you it's not good enough, how would YOU feel?

It's abhorrent (o'snap I used the word abhorrent and gon' in an essay. Have you stopped reading yet???) to tell someone their gift is not good enough. This is the very thing that makes people not want to share their stories. Because of this shit right here.

Don't you get how gorgeous it is that people who speak other languages share your passion and want to show that? And above all attempt to show you in YOUR language? Because they want to join in and tell their story since they enjoyed yours. And how do they get repaid? They read shit like the OP that punches them in the stomach and shames them into not even trying. It's damn near the equivalent of trying to fit into a group of mean kids at school who step on any attempt at friendship. You need something to sneer at to make yourself look better?

That's fucked up.

That's ugly as hell.

And it's fuckin rude. ((I started a sentence with 'And' y'all! (GASP I used y'all too! She's a mad woman....a MAAAAD woman!))

People are trying their fuckin hardest. Lay the fuck off. And to those who tell their stories and put their stuff out there in an language they please: thank you. Y'all are true creative blessings. Keep spreading your light. You belong just as much as anyone else.

“English isn’t my first language” is not a serious excuse!

To all of you fanfic authors, bloggers, artist, to write/make something and then post it means that you are satisfied with the product. Now, to have created a piece that is fully/mostly constructed of text and to not have made the effort to at least get a grammar check is called arrogance. “I don’t care what you think, I wrote it, you read it. Who cares if you’re struggling to get a past every sentence. That’s your own problem!” You’re basically setting yourself up for negative feedback and criticism which, while many don’t bother to give, I would provide without hesitation.

Some say “I don’t need approval.”(which I sincerely don’t believe). Well, then, why are you posting this? Isn’t the whole point sharing something you can enjoy with people?

And then you start getting defensive and angry about it. “Well, English isn’t my first language!” I don’t care! Nobody does! Plus, if you post something online you should anticipate criticism. Great artists, celebrities, and basically everyone, face criticism on a daily basis EVEN WHEN the final product is marvelous.

So, what makes you different?

[wernerherzogs]

Somehow I remembered when he whispered to zayn laughing pussy when they were asked on stage what the only thing you would never eat lol

oh i sure do remember that too! but here we are now! in this moment in time! and we shall see what happens in the future. what more is there to say, ya know? [shrug emoji]

anon 2: “People always gonna make big drama when woman and their sexuailty involved. If you remember when the song girls came out a song made by 4 women singing about having fun time going down on other women people Got so maaaad bc oh you use women for fun and for you own benefit when the song wasn't that bad so I get why there's drama around this MV. People get so defensive when it come to women and they have the right but maybe wait and see first!”

i mean people are allowed to be worried and anxious, but i’d encourage them to think longer whether it’s warranted. and i truly always recommend taking a break from fandom if things get bad. take care of yourselves! please!

[shrinkingmaiden-blog]

royal-botanist replied to your post: Leo, Laslow, no fightin!

“Tell him that!”

“I am! I just did!”